Monday, August 18, 2008

Hiatus

I'm going on hiatus effective immediately through the election- there's a wedding to do, a thesis to figure out and I've just accepted an internship doing something with the Walz Campaign, so I'm taking a break from the blog to focus on all of that. I'll try and pick it up sometime in November, so fear not- I shall return.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Chinese Democracy Imminent?

I'm referring to, of course, not a regime change in China, but the newest Guns N'Roses Album that the world has been waiting for. For 14 years now- I swear, I remember hearing about this album when I was in Junior High- and now, with a leak of nine tracks from the supposedly finished album, it appears like it might finally be here. Or close to being here- the sticking point is where and how to release it apparently, but once those details are decided it could come out this fall.

I think I'll buy it. I'm not a huge GNR fan, but at the same time, this album has been in the works for most of my life, so it seems like I should buy it, if only for the historical/milestone aspect of it. Who knows- the album cover better be friggin' awesome though- and they should still call it Chinese Democracy.

Gold #8

Michael Phelps won Gold #8 last night in spectacular fashion- and made history doing so. We've got another week of Olympics yet, but I doubt any events can match up the excitement of swimming on both sides- and as all-time Olympic Great, holder of the most gold medals won in a single Olympics (8) and only 23 the mind boggles as to what Michael Phelps can accomplish over the course of his career... he can add to the total in 2012 to be sure- and maybe round it out in 2016? The crazy thing is that Dara Torres is 41! And if Phelps can match her- well then his final medal total for the Olympics could be beyond flippin' ridiculous. But incredible.

On Georgia

Nearly two weeks after fighting erupted between Russia and Georgia over the breakaway region of South Ossetia, the Russians have finally announced that their troops will begin withdrawals from Georgia tomorrow. The more information about the dispute that comes out, the more fluid and complex it becomes- at least in my head.

Whose to blame? Well... Russia, in this case- but Georgia didn't help matters either. Saakashvili had been told, quietly by the US and the west not to engage in needless provocations- given the fact that Georgia had announced that it was interested in NATO membership, the decision to take a stand right then and there on the issue of South Ossetia was a titanically stupid one. Georgia could have- and indeed should have played its cards a little better. Russian presence in South Ossetia and Abkhazia aside, the status quo could have held for a few more months or even years. Once Georgia was in NATO, that would have strengthened its hand on both regions greatly. Once the U.S. was detangled from Iraq that would have strengthened its position as well. Saakashvili, however, is not a President I'd like to play poker with. He went all in (a huge risk) and got slapped for it.

But did he? Things are swinging around a bit that might rebound against Russia in ways that it doesn't like. For one, Europe got a nasty shock- and Eastern Europe and the Former Soviet Republics were put on notice that the Mama Bear is back in town and it's not wise to piss her off. That's why you're seeing a great deal of solidarity with Georgia. Poland signed a deal with the U.S. to base interceptor missiles in Poland as part of the U.S. missile shield (the Poles say the timing had nothing to do with Georgia, but I doubt anyone believes that.) And now the Ukraine is upping the ante- by offering a Soviet satellite defence facility as part of the European-US missile defense shield. If Russia's intent was to serve notice on its former Republics that they should toe the line Moscow sets for them, then it's backfired in a major way. Now, I think we'll see everyone and their mother running in the other direction.

The Russians aren't done though: Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov told Georgia that 'they could forget about the two regions.' Saakashvili refused to countenance giving up either- and with German Chancellor Angela Merkel coming to town to announce that if Georgia wants to- it will join NATO. And Merkel along with President Bush said that neither region can be annexed by Russia.

Militarily, however, things did not go so well for Georgia. Russian troops, better trained and with more experience, thanks to Chechnya were more effective overall, though I did see a piece (which I now can't find) which pointed out that the majority of the Georgian army remained intact and during the conflict fell back out of the lowlands and headed to the Lesser Caucus region beyond Tblisi- intending, I'm assuming to defend the capital and then maybe take to the hills? Georgian air and sea forces faired better, per Strategy Page. I'm not a military history buff, but I think it'd be a tall order to defend your country against one as big as Russia. Keeping your army intact would be a plus though. The interesting twist was the cyberwar Russia waged against Georgia- (super kudos to Estonia, another victim of Russian cyberattacks for sending help right away.)

So, on balance, where does that leave us?

For Russia: good and bad- leaning now towards the bad. The press narrative is changing and a coalition of nations to restrain Russia is coming together quickly. Russia may not give a damn that their perceived as a bully internationally, but the real question is- can they pursue an interventionist strategy in the long-term? That's doubtful. Demographics in Russia, like in the rest of Europe aren't good, despite the crazy 'Sex Days' that Putin and Company keep trying to push. That said, if Russia wanted to let the world know that they're back and they have weight to throw around, well, mission accomplished.

For Georgia: Like I said, President Saakashvili should hit Vegas when he retires from politics- he'd probably give the professional poker players fits. He was told not to push too hard and he did. He was ballsy and went all in on South Ossetia and got hit for it- but ultimately, I think things will swing around Georgia's way. A military defeat, sure- but it's shaping up to be a political victory. Germany and the US have re-affirmed support for Georgia's membership in NATO. And if, the international discussions per the ceasefire about South Ossetia and Georgia take place that too could be another victory for Georgia. International involvement gives Georgia some heft in its corner, so to speak- we just have to see if that happens.

For the International Community: the alarm clock rang and it was one heck of a wake up call. After a bit of flailing, the Bush Administration got its shit together and with Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Republics rushing to support Georgia, the EU jumped aboard very quickly. Both France and Germany were extremely proactive for a change. And things are coming together quickly. The biggest loser, I think, is the UN. The ineffectiveness of the Security Council was on fine display with this crisis. People were wringing their hands and wondering why the UN didn't do more- but what could it do, given Russia's veto? The case for reform only becomes more urgent if the UN is to be seen as effective again at all. Reform- and expansion of the Security Council is long overdue. It's structure is that of 1945 in a 2008 world. India, Brazil, South Africa should be made permanent members for sure- maybe even Germany and Japan as well. But it needs to happen sooner rather than later. And I think a veto override mechanism is long overdue as well.

But so far, things look to be calming down- at least for now.

Save Art Now VI

Well, the DM Register came through in a big way with a nice article (and a great op-ed!) on the debate over the attempt to sell the magnificent Pollock piece, Mural at the University of Iowa to pay for flood repairs. The Regent pushing the sale Michael Gartner is saying:
The Iowa Board of Regents decided at its last meeting to research how much the painting would fetch if sold to a museum, an idea floated by Regent Michael Gartner of Des Moines.

Iowans and art lovers across the country are weighing in on the idea. Nixon's Facebook group boasted 200 members on Friday. Gartner said he is not pushing for the sale.

Gartner is not pushing the sale? Hmmm... strictly speaking that's right- he's only asking for a study to see how much it's worth and how much it could get if they did sell it to a Museum- but then again, if Gartner doesn't want to sell- then why have the study in the first place? I smell a fairly large rat.

The smell gets worse when you take into account an interesting twist brought up by art blogger Tyler Green- rumors surfaced on the Facebook site that Gartner's wife was on the board of the Des Moines Arts Center. Apparently, they're true.

To me, that's an obvious conflict of interest that should, at least in the interest of keeping this pointless debate free of potential shady behavior, stop this study right now. But- it's the Des Moines Arts Center- DMAC has already come out and said that they couldn't afford Mural if they wanted to do- and they're probably right. But Gartner's latest suggestion- to sell it to a Museum that would 'arrange occasional viewings at the U of I' strikes me as strange, especially given the DMAC connection. Des Moines being close enough to share on a regular basis.

Hmmm... either way- I don't know why this debate is ongoing. If Gartner isn't pushing the sale, why do the study? Given the DMAC connection, then why propose a sharing arrangement? Why promote a narrative in the media that suggests that the sale of the painting can be used to pay for flood damage- when in fact it can't! The only thing the sale of the Mural will get is more art. You might be able to get a building or a new museum- but it doesn't sound like it.

Like I said: the real question is what to do now. If the Museum can't stay down by the River, then where does it go? Given the spectacular nature of the University's collection- why haven't the Regents given it the facility it deserves to bring in people and revenue to the University of Iowa (yes, I think with the right facility a UIMA could bring in revenue. Maybe not football revenue and maybe it won't be the biggest draw to Iowa City- but it could be a pretty decent draw.) I think if they can't swing downtown Iowa City, then maybe somewhere out near the Marriot in Coralville? They're looking for an attraction anyway, given the flame out of the Rainforest thing- and a new Museum might not be able to be built that close to the River, but there's higher ground out there too.

Mindless Speculation

...at least I really hope so. The latest name to emerge in the VP guessing game is that of Mass. Senator John Kerry- all because there's a 'veterans theme' for the night that the VP nominee is expected to address the convention, and Kerry's a former Vietnam Vet. I think the Obama Campaign has already gone on the record saying that it could just be a coincidence- veterans are important, after all- especially in America today- but still, Kerry's emerged from the pack in recent day and is scaring a lot of people absolutely shitless. Me included.

It's not that I don't like John Kerry (I don't- I thought he was a lousy candidate in 2004 and voted for Badnarik because I could stomach voting for anyone else.) it's that Obama is under a tremendous amount of pressure. Vacations are necessary, I know- but neither he nor McCain has had a good summer, but while Obama was in Hawaii, McCain had the advantage by making somewhat bellicose and occasionally intelligent pronouncements on the crisis in Georgia.

Make no mistake: this choice is the most important choice Obama will make. Period. If he screws it up, it could cost him the election- especially given how tenacious McCain is appearing to be. This one is shaping up to be a close one- unless someone makes a VP choice or does something to change the dynamic- the next big thing would be VP choices.

I think some Senators could be tempting for Obama- Biden has lots of FP experience, for one- I don't know what people are thinking with Evan Bayh- and then there's Hillary Clinton. But, at the same time I know that this country doesn't elect Senators. The last Senator to get elected was LBJ in 1964 (which makes this election kind of historic again- because either way, that's a dry spell for the Senate that ends this November.) And it's for that reason I think that Obama could be well-served by a Governor. Rendell of PA, Bresden of TN, Kaine of VA, Strickland of OH, Sebelius of KS, Napolitano of AZ would all be fantastic choices. I know with the latter two, the danger is that Hillary supporters would bolt in a fit of... I don't know- sour grapes? I do think the argument that there's no other woman qualified for VP except Hillary is one that I find to be insulting and degrading to women- and someone should have shouted that particular bit of idiocy down a long time ago.

McCain has some advantages that Obama does not: he can wait to see what Obama will do and react to it. That'll be key. If it's perceived that Obama has made a totally disastrous choice, then McCain might be able to play it safe (Romney)- but if it's perceived that Obama made a good choice, then the pressure's on. There are tempting targets for McCain too- Pawlenty of MN, Huckabee of AS, Palin of AK would be a trifecta of Governors that would be interesting choices. But McCain has a bit more pressure, because his VP choice has to be ready to take over on Day 1- that's a question for most VP candidates, but an especially important one for McCain.

But anyway- hopefully this will be over soon. But please no to Kerry.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Columnists Paid Well For Doing Little

**I'm going to send this to Des Moines Register**

Dear Editor,

I'm not sure what the point of John Carlson's August 15th Column was supposed to be, but his attempt to tie in the abuses of tenure with overly generous family leave to the attempts to sell the Pollock was a worthy attempt that ultimately fell flat.

I agree with Mr. Carlson on the first two points- I grew up in Iowa City, so I'm perfectly aware of how cloying and irritatingly liberal of a community it can be. I'm far from being a Republican, but Iowa City tends to go the other direction to extremes sometimes.

On the issue of tenure: it's wrong to smack the University of Iowa around for that- I don't know who invented the idea of tenure, but it sounds like a pretty cool insurance policy against doing anything much at all. And Professor Miller, I think, should be put on unpaid leave not paid leave- especially given the seriousness of the allegations leveled against him. But again- it's the problem for academia at large, not just Iowa.

On the semester-long family leave: a wee bit excessive. A month, sure. Six weeks, why not? But a semester? That's a little extreme.

Carlson totally rides his column off the rails, however, when it comes to the sale of the Pollock. The real question isn't just about how to rebuild communities shattered by the devastating floods, it's about bringing people (and money) back to those communities. The University's collection, with the Pollock as it's centerpiece might not be a massive draw for people to Eastern Iowa- but I know that over my five years of working at the University, people would come from all around the country just to see that one piece. Selling it either to pay for flood damage (whether that can be done is another question entirely) or to build a new Museum may be tempting in the face of what we're trying to rebuild, but why sell the one piece that could be the biggest draw in a new Museum?

No, the hard questions to be asked are entirely different: why didn't the University put this Museum and it's incredible collection front and center to bring people and tourists to the community? Why wasn't the Museum in many major tour guides? Why was it so hard to find? The Museum (and the Pollock) were amongst the best-kept secrets of Iowa City.

And it's past time to give the Collection the kind of Museum it really deserves- and before people are quick to condemn the use of resources for 'art', just consider the question- how are we to bring people back to these communities? A rebuilt Museum could be one such draw. Rebuilding the Czech and Slovak Museum in Cedar Rapids- and all these cultural assets could prove key to bringing people back. Don't be so quick to throw that chance away.

Yours,
Tom Nixon

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Save Art Now V: Changing Equations

The calculus and the rhetoric continue to shift on the issue of what to do about the Arts Campus at the University of Iowa and the now contentious issue of whether or not to sell the Jackson Pollock. The latest twist: the Museum apparently won't be going back down to the River. Unconfirmed reports have it that Lloyd's of London, which insures the Museum's Collection will NOT continue to insure the collection if the Museum remains in its present location. Suddenly, the driving force behind Mr. Gartner's decent into idiocy become a little easier to understand: it's a tempting, juicy target. Selling the Pollock may be a singularly stupid idea, but it could land the Museum a new building, a better facility with more parking- and, more space to show more of their amazing collection.

Tempting. Very, very tempting.

But I don't think we can blink on this one: the Pollock is one of the biggest if not THE biggest draw to the University of Iowa Museum of Art. The trade off apparently being that if you sell it, you get a new building- but what's the use of a shiny new building if no one wants to come and see your collection? New building or no, you don't sell the one painting that has a lot of people moving through the doors. It doesn't make sense, it'd be counter-productive and ultimately, you run the risk of ending up with a white elephant of a building (looking at you, Laser Center) that looks awesome, but doesn't really do much. That's not a risk worth running- especially when you consider that the long term prestige and future of the program are at risk.

So what to do? That's a question for the UIMA itself. I'm hoping (and guessing) that fundraising efforts are already underway, but if they're not, then someone needs to light a fire under it and fast. There needs to be an aggressive, capital campaign that taps into the resources of art alumni from Iowa, alumni from Iowa- as well as supporters of the arts across the Midwest. The Hospital and the Athletics Department have little problem picking up money because they go after and tap their Alumni- the UIMA and the Art School need to start doing the same thing NOW. If you can show an aggressive plan for fundraising and a capital campaign to rebuild the campus to the Regents and the public, it'll take the wind out of the sails of this campaign to sell the Pollock. Now isn't the time to glad-hand the usual suspects for money- the public has to know and has to know NOW. Shout it from the rooftops already and think up a kick-ass slogan and start rallying the public behind it. Time is not on the side of the Arts Campus and they need to engage in the PR war with Gartner and Company over this issue. Statements from Sally Mason and Pam White are good, but not enough. The future needs to begin now- and has to be seized now.

This is what I think:

1. People have to wait their turn: I don't want to belittle the massive contributions and money that both the Hospital and the Athletics Department bring into the University, because both are key parts of the Institution as a whole, but the campus has just been through a major crisis. This isn't the time for turf wars and it's all hands on deck time, people. That means that the Hospital and the Athletics Department, if they want new renovations should push harder for private donations and take less money from the Regents so some of it can be directed for flood relief. The Hospital is one of the best teaching hospitals in the country and it won't stop being the best if it doesn't get it's expansion right this second. Same with Athletics- for once, they can wait in line, I think. (Not forever, just for a little bit.)

2. See Above: The Future Begins Now. There needs to be pressure on the UIMA and the Art Department to start aggressive fundraising right now. As soon as someone reads this. It needs a sexy slogan that you can put on a t-shirt, bumper sticker or a license plate and it should tap (as I said) art school alumni, supporters of the arts and the UIMA's existing donor base. All of which could be funneled into rebuilding not only the UIMA but the Arts Campus as well. DON'T WAIT TO DO THIS! START NOW! (I'm betting people have- and if they have, great, but there hasn't been enough publicity on it- people need to know who you are and what you're about, because as I've noted, not enough people do.)

3. What's In a New Museum: Ask the people. I like that idea- it's going to take awhile to build a new UIMA and it'll give you time to ask the people of Iowa City (and Iowa) what they look for in an Art Museum- find the most creative ideas and implement them. Another thing would be more space (you can show more of the Collection, because not many people realize that what you saw in the UIMA was only a fraction of what the University actually has) and think carefully about location. Downtown would be logical, but there's parking to think about.

Basically, the Museum and the Art School need to start getting information out to the public, because tucked away in their little corner of the University, they were a hidden treasure not many people would go and find out about. The Art School is one of the hidden gems of the University- same with the UIMA- and both of them need to stand up and prove that to the public as quickly as possible.

**It's also worth noting that an interesting rumor/tidbit of information showed up on the Facebook wall this afternoon- allegedly Mr. Gartner's wife is on the board of the Des Moines Arts Center. So what does this mean?

1. I don't know. (It may not even be true.)
2. If it is true, he should know better than to suggest selling the Pollock.
3. I think we should smack down any hint of some sort of nefarious conspiracy to snatch the Pollock away to Des Moines. The DMAC would have to buy it- and I think that'd be a tall order for most major Museums, much less DMAC. Plus, it's probably not even for sale if we have our way. So moot point.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Save Art Now IV

Well, the idea just won't die- Michael Gartner continues to push the idea of valuing the Pollock to see if it's worth selling it to cover Flood relief costs and there's been a bit of a curveball thrown:
Gartner said the regents should determine the value of the painting if sold to a museum - not a private collector - that would agree to occasional viewings at the U of I. Gartner also wants to know how much the U of I spends to insure the painting and how much is spent on security around the work.

And so an idiotic idea descends further into idiocy. What's the point of selling it if we're going to get some Museum to do 'occasional viewings' at the U of I? Why not just keep it so we can have every day, whenever we want viewings at the U of I? I have to wonder aloud- and maybe I'm wrong, but I have to wonder if Gartner has ever bothered to go and see Mural or even go and see the Museum of Art, because given how much he seems to be talking complete rubbish it wouldn't honestly surprise me to learn that he'd never seen the thing in person.

But he's a Regent, so I'm going to say he's probably seen it- even though he continues to push this nonsense. And what's with asking about the security? Talk to the U of I Police Department about it- they're in charge of it and they've spent at least the five years I worked security down there re-vamping and upgrading the entire security system- and that's just the stuff the general public can see- not even I, as a student employee was privy to everything about the security system- and I was a guard! Plus, Gartner should exercise some common sense: this isn't a painting one can merely put under a shirt and run away with- and by and large, when there is threat to artworks, it's usually from theft attempts not from vandalism. (People want to steal 'em and sell 'em. Splotches of red paint thrown on the canvas devalues the price a bit.) The Pollock is 8 by 20- it'd take multiple people to move it and it'd be pretty damn noticeable and hard to hide. The Regents should be thankful it is the size it is, because in a very real sense it secures itself from theft without even trying.

A team of people who can break into the Museum (which would set off alarms) and get it off the wall and out of the Museum before law enforcement gets there (and believe me, at the first alarm, they would come running, very, very fast) would pull off the Art Heist of the Century. Asking how much money we spend on security for it is foolish- and a smokescreen to push his ridiculous idea of selling the thing in the first place.

I don't think we can fool ourselves on this: Gartner wants to sell it. And he's an idiot for wanting to do it- and more importantly, if this is his idea of advocating and building quality academic programs at our state universities then he needs to get a new job fast. A person that advocates excising the University's art collection just to pay for flood recovery (sacrificing potentially, the Museum's standing and accreditation along with the actual painting) has no business being on the Board of Regents.

Unhappily, Gartner's penny-pinching idiocy has it's fans:
Gartner isn't the only Iowan who says the regents should consider selling the Pollock. Storm Lake Times columnist Art Cullen advocated the sale in a column last weekend.

"Sell that painting and we can rebuild the entire, flood-devastated fine-arts campus in Iowa City without asking the public for a dime," Cullen wrote. "There would be money left over to buy works of renowned Iowa artists such as Grant Wood, who actually attended the University of Iowa (unlike Pollock, who has no connection whatever to the Tall Corn State), or unrecognized Hawkeye artists."

Ah, idiocy loves company. I'd invite Art Cullen to visit the Art School and see the Art Museum before presuming to excise Iowa's greatest artistic treasure and throw it away. The loss of accreditation for the Museum would be a blow to the credibility of the Art School and the Museum- not to mention that given the fact that the Regents hand out money hand over fist for the hospital and athletics without a second thought, how can Cullen advocate this when so much money is (in my opinion) disproportionately spent on athletics. Surely at the heart of an academic institution of any kind should be the preservation and promotion of academic excellence. Unless Mr. Cullen has been advocating not wasting taxpayer money on football and basketball for years now and making universities pay more attention to academics (which is kinda what they're supposed to do) he should just shut up. Seriously now. If this was a football stadium, Cullen would be all for rebuilding as quickly as possible and Gartner and the Regents would have cut several checks by now. But because it's art and no one thinks art matters (it does) Garnter, Cullen and company are all for dismembering one of the University's proudest academic schools in the name of raising money.

It's so wrong, it's unbelievable. Push the Hospital renovations (it's one of the best in the country now- it's not going to start sucking if it doesn't get god knows how many more square feet), push the Carver renovations (when are we good at basketball anyway?) and maybe tell Ferentz he can take a pay cut if he doesn't get us to a bowl this year (not to mention get his house in order in general.) That might be a good way to get some money before gutting the arts programs.

Happily though: Sally Mason, President of the University of Iowa is totally against the idea. (Yay!) Pam White, Director of the UIMA is against the idea (Yay!) and Lt. Governor Patty Judge is also against the idea.

If the Lt. Governor is against the idea that should tell you something about what a bad idea it is. And let me repeat the obvious: the Regents are in a tricky position here because like I said- if it was Kinnick Stadium or the Hospital that had been flooded, the Regents would be cutting checks left and right, regardless of what the public thought- they seem to be forgetting that the idea isn't just to rebuild the University, but to preserve it's tradition of academic excellence.

And it seems obvious that the Regents (or at least Mr. Garnter) don't think the preservation of academic excellence is all that important right now.

Save Art Now III: Why It's Important (Part II)

For five years, I worked as a Security Guard at the Museum of Art- and over the course of those years, I learned a lot more about art than I imagined at first. It was almost inevitable, really- security guards are the public face of the Museum, so they get all the questions about the paintings in the galleries, so I didn't really have a choice. Over time, I listened, I asked docents and curators and I began to learn a fair amount about the Museum's collection. And the more I learned, the more I began to realize how incredible the University's collection really was.

You wouldn't believe the amount of people, over the years who would look at what appeared to be a big black square and say, sneeringly: 'Well, give me a marker. I could do that.' No, you really couldn't. Trust me on this. The piece, by abstract artist Ad Reinhardt was not one of my favorite pieces, I have to admit- after all, it did just appear to be a big black square. Look closer though: four faint lines, dividing the square into nine equal squares, each one a slightly different shade of black. Still just a square? Well, Reinhardt was trying to see what was the least amount of work he could do a canvas and still have it be considered art. Digest that and discuss.

There were the yearly questions about the DiChirico (yes, the dates don't match because DiChirico reproduced his own canvases- right down to the original dates. So the label is right. The painting is technically wrong.) The Miro, painted on burlap sack. The Beckmann Tryptic, one panel of which is apparently painted on a bedsheet. (I'm pretty sure that's true- people did like to pull pranks now and again.) Where was the Matisse? The Pink Sky? The Grant Wood?

The questions were never-ending and the next five years were the best crash course in Art education that I could have hoped for. And there were more: the African Art Collection is one of the top 10 collections in the country. Yes, that's right- one of the best collections of all things, African Art, is in Iowa.

And what's up with those spooky Nazi Drawings? Well, the Print School at Iowa is one of the top Print Schools in the country and between Mauricio Lasansky and Virgina Meyers, the Print School is one of the best, if not actually the best. Lasansky, author of the Nazi Drawings pioneered the medium of 'large scale' or intaglio printing, breaking printing out of smaller dimensions and crafting a vision of one humanity's darkest hours. Looking at the drawings, you can't help but be moved.

Virgina Meyers invented the medium of foil printing. Yes, that's right- printmaking, an artform that goes back thousands of years and she invented a new type of printing. That alone is pretty cool. But she had to invent new technology to do it- whole new presses that I believe the University of Iowa still holds the patents to. One of the coolest moments came during her exhibition at the Museum, when one of my fellow guards pointed to a small, unnoticed print of a fire of some kind and told me that this piece was the first foil printing piece she had ever done.

I could go on all day with all of this- but the crowning glory to all of it has to be the Pollock. Mural is one of those paintings you could watch all day- indeed, the Museum put two Eames chairs in front of the painting so people could do just that and those chairs were almost always filled. I saw it every day for five years and could see something new it every single time I would look at it. It's one of the most important pieces of American Art of the last century and it's in Iowa. Iowa City of all places. Why would anyone want to change that?

The Collection of the University of Iowa is incredible- and the Art School is just as important- and not enough people know it!

It took me awhile, but finally I understood. Art is more than just swirls of paint on a canvas. It's more than just random lumps of clay. Art is work. Art is soul brought to life in a medium that best reflects the artist who creates it. And yes, art is important- and should be protected. This has to, has to be about more than the bottom line for our state universities- collections like the University's are not just assets to be dealt away in times of dire financial need, they are treasures that belong not just to the University but to the people of the state of Iowa. Pieces like the Pollock have to be preserved and stay here so that people from all over the state can come and view them for generations to come.

What's irritating about all of this is that the Regents take a short view on the matter. It's about getting as much money as possible as fast as possible- ignoring the fact that if presented differently, the UIMA could be a major tourist attraction for Eastern Iowa and could, potentially, bring in people, money and attract the best art students from around the nation- even more than it already does.

The leadership of not only the Regents, but the State itself should be acting proactively on this. Beyond the ruined houses, the ruined businesses that have to be rebuilt, there are cultural assets that are valuable resources for their communities and help to bring people to places like Iowa City and Cedar Rapids. In the long, slow process of rebuilding, these assets cannot be forgotten. We have to remember and protect the UIMA. We have to bring back the Czech Village and Museum- the Cedar Rapids Public Library, their Museum of Art. And I know for a fact that there are more places that could be put on this list.

I think it's time for all Iowans and all people who care about preserving our history and our cultural treasures to move this beyond the Regents. The State of Iowa needs to stand up- the people, the country has to come together and fight for the cause of cultural preservation, especially in the wake of the devastating floods of 2008.

Save Art Now III: Why It's Important (Part I)

I remember when I started hating art. It was summer vacation of 1997, when I would have been about 13 and we were cruising through the southwest with my mother and my uncle, visiting Santa Fe, New Mexico. It was an incredible vacation overall, but my Uncle was in the market for a piece of art- and that ended up spelling trouble for us kids. You see, Santa Fe has a stretch of street that I think the guide book referred to as 'the Magnificent Mile' a mile of art galleries on either side of the street. And, much to the horror of my siblings and I, my mother and my uncle proceeded to drag us all through pretty much every single one of them.

I don't want to judge the place now, but then, my 13 year old self was far from impressed (as so few 13 year olds are) as most of the art seemed to be the same old take on a Southwestern desert landscape with maybe a cowboy or a Native American in the picture somewhere. To me, at the time, it seemed like art one would find in a motel.

My siblings and I naturally went on strike after about gallery #10, but my mother and my uncle, undeterred, continued on. And on. And on. And I just got sick and tired of looking at art.

That was a shame- because after Santa Fe, we went on to Taos, NM, where there's a lot of impressive art and I just couldn't summon up enough energy to care. I had overdosed- and I've regretted not having a little bit more awareness of what I was seeing and hope someday to revisit both Santa Fe and Taos to see what it's really like.

But that vacation turned me off to the whole concept of art in a major way. Art was just something you hang on a wall, boring colors molded into people and random shapes. Some of it just looked like someone had thrown a punch of paint at the wall or finger painted even. I didn't get it. I didn't want to get it. I had not a lick of artistic ability in me. I was the kid who would fear the wrath of Mr. Reed and his massively taped up hockey stick in elementary school art class, because I couldn't remember the difference between primary and complimentary colors. (Mr. Reed would stride around like a Field Marshal, slapping that hockey stick into the palm of his hand until suddenly, he would turn, pounce and SMACK the stick down onto our table- scaring us all into quiet submission and usually scaring up the right answer as well. It was a very effective teaching technique.)

So it's with some surprise that I find reporters calling me to ask questions about why I'm starting a Facebook group to save the Jackson Pollock. Well, I guess in the end, my road to art appreciation began with a dilemma that happened early on my Freshman year at the U of I. I had, finally, after some scraping, got a job interview down at Public Safety- the afternoon in question, I was planning on heading over to DPS right after my Rhetoric class, but ran into a problem: it was raining. Not just little sprinkles, but full on tropical monsoon type of rain. And amongst the many things I hadn't acquired yet since I moved into the dorms was an umbrella.

Do I wait for the rain to stop and be late to the interview or do I just make a run for it and hope the best? After some thought, I decided (wisely as it turned out) that punctuality was more important to employers than whether or not I was dry. I decided to make a run for it- and realized about 3 steps out of the door that staying dry just wasn't going to happen. I squelched through the Main Library, and back out into the monsoon, kicking off my sandals as I did so. At the corner of Burlington and Madison a couple of girls ran by me and yelled 'You're CRAZY!' I had to agree with them. Wet had transcended into some state beyond wet. Beyond even soaked, I think. So I arrived at DPS, soaking wet, dripping everywhere and was ushered into their conference room and after about a minute long interview, Lt. Tom Johnson (who in charge of hiring at the time) gave me a job. I'd like to think it was because I earned it somehow or maybe just showed up- but probably it was just so I'd stop dripping water all over the place and go away.

A couple of weeks later, I started work as a Security Guard down at the Museum of Art.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

All About The Fairness

It's a sad reflection of America today that I have trouble sometimes deciding which political party is the bigger threat to the First Amendment. Naturally, partisans on both sides will point the finger at the other, but over the years, I've noticed that the pattern tends to break down like this:

If you disagree with the Right, you're un-American. You're the scum of the Earth, who appeases terrorists, believes in the hoax of global warming and want to turn the United States of America into a socialist work camp.

If you disagree with the Left, well, it's you're birthright as an American to speak in opposition to anyone- and you're more than free to disagree with the Left, provided, of course, that you agree with everything they say to begin with. Woe betide those that have the temerity to question the sacred orthodoxy of the American left.

Granted, those are massive generalizations- but that's the way (in my experience) it tends to break down on the extreme ends of the spectrum. People in the sensible, sane center tend to be a little less vocal about it- and that's really where the work gets done in my mind. Careful, measured debate about ideas- the forge of true solutions for our nation's problems.

So, it is with great irritation that I see that the pendulum has swung to the Left when it comes to parties gunning to take out the First Amendment. I speak, of course, of Nancy Pelosi's idiotic attempt to re-instate 'The Fairness Doctrine.' For those of you who don't know- the Fairness Doctrine is an FCC regulation that would require broadcasters to provide equal time for opposing points of view on the presentation of any given issue. In other words, Fox News would have to provide equal time to a liberal point of view. Or NPR would have to provide equal time to a conservative point of view. It cuts both ways.

Conservatives hate it because it's clearly aimed at Conservative talk radio, which they dominate. The Left tried to get in on the talk radio thing, but it turned out that Air America was a better movie than a radio station (or whatever it was) and Al Franken has decide to abandon the airwaves to try and run for Senate.

The Left (at least right now) loves it because they hate Fox News and Conservative talk radio and it would pretty much destroy both of these bastions of evil lies and propaganda that the Left despises so much. Their attempts (headed by Nancy Pelosi and company- which might explain why they have lower approval ratings than the President right now) to reintroduce the Fairness Doctrine have the taste of politically motivated censorship- though according to them, it's 'all about the Fairness.'

But now the FCC Commissioner is warning that the return of 'The Fairness Doctrine' could also see equal times rules applied to web content and blogs as well. If this is true, then I think the Fairness Doctrine will die quickly- and if, by some twist of idiocy that seems to symptomatic in Congress it does come back with the web content controls attached, then I think it'll lose the Democrats Congress for one- and for two, it'll be knocked down once and for all by the courts.

In general, this is an incredibly stupid idea on the part of the Democrats. Do something else- fix the education system? End poverty? Anything but this. It's a political risk that could (and probably will) backfire once people realize what it entails and it's an issue that's sure to send Conservatives running to polls in droves. All of which are not good things for Democrats.

Then there's the censorship part. That to me, is where I get off the bus. This is politically motivated censorship and I don't care what anyone says. It's just wrong. It's a ham-fisted, cack-handed attempt to shut down talk radio, all because the Left discovered that like I said, Air America was a better movie than a radio station. I'm not entirely sure it's Constitutional- and the fact that Congress and the FCC 'retired' the Doctrine should say a lot about what a bad idea it is to begin with.

Throw the 'net into that and you're looking at an unenforceable, laughable and unconstitutional law that amounts to real live censorship. We do have Fairness Doctrines in this country- they're called remotes. If you don't like what you see on the TV, exercise the brilliant thing called your thumb and click the damn channel changer. If you don't like what you hear on the radio, move the dial. You see where I'm going with this? Any stupid law that requires me to give equal time to the opposition is an infringement on my right to Free Speech. And I have a major issue with that-

but of course, in the end, censorship has to be fair to everyone, after all.

Common Sense Deferred

The Iowa City Council, in its wisdom has struck again: deferring (or rather extending) the pointless, meandering debate about what to do with regards to plans for a Super Wal-Mart on the south side of town near the airport.

I don't know what to say to this. The City Council has had a long history of self-immolation, but this one has to rank right up there for the best of them: let it pass already! This position (and the people who hold it) will undoubtedly be denounced as evil foot-soldiers of the proto-capitalist army, neo-conservative freaks that voted for Bush (not once, but the unforgivable mortal sin of twice!)

Well, that may be true of some people- but from my point of view, nothing could be further from the truth. I want someone on the Iowa City Council to do something for someone other than business owners and activists who have cushy, middle-class jobs and can afford to pay their bills. Iowa City, when you get right down to it, like it or not, is a college town. Full of college students. Who are poor. It was a source of increasing irritation to me as an undergraduate that downtown was catering less and less to the economic needs of the students. People complain that the students just go downtown to drink- but wouldn't it be amazing if all those students could go downtown to shop? Might that not bring some money and some life other than drunken mobs back to downtown? I think that's a perfectly logical solution, myself. Where is the supermarket downtown? Where is the burger joint? Students are forced to go further afield for their groceries in a time where gas prices aren't exactly low.

The Left may love to beat up on Wal-Mart, but correct me if I'm wrong, but the Left should also be on the side of the downtrodden, the middle class, the struggling people working two jobs just to pay their bills, right? Ultimately, doing something useful for that constituency matters more to me than adhering to self-defeating pieces of tradition Liberal Orthodoxy (namely that corporations are tools of Satan, evil Republicans, et. al). Whether you like it or not the fact remains: Wal-Mart is cheap. That's what makes it successful- and I may not live in Iowa City right now, but I know when I lived there I would have appreciated a cheap source of basic necessities close at hand instead of a good twenty minutes away on the far end of the Coralville Strip.

I think it's also worth noting that I find Wal-Mart's anti-union position almost laughable (the twenty minute orientation video carefully explaining why unions are bad and what to do should the loyal associate encounters a union organizer could very well win the $10,000 prize on America's Funniest Home Videos. I doubt anyone who sees it could take it seriously. I certainly didn't.) I could delve into what exactly I think about unions and how they're not all they're cracked up to be- but that's a different story entirely. But I think it's also worth pointing out that Associates from the lowest to the highest get quarterly bonus checks. And that Wal-Mart has an open management structure that enables ideas to go from the low to the high without being shouted down (that may read like a corporate talking point- but Wal-Mart wouldn't have people greeters if a lowly associate hadn't tossed the idea up the corporate ladder.)

All of the above will probably see me vociferously denounced as a Wal-Mart apologist, but before people start foaming at the mouth- take a breath and read this: my intent isn't to come down on one side or the other- my intent is to balance the perspective on the issue out a bit. The Left seems to be more intent in adhering to the key talking points of its orthodoxy that genuinely helping people sometimes- and this is one time where I have to come down on the side of the people. There are more than just students in Iowa City- and not everyone in Iowa City has a nice, easy, life. Cheap quality goods help people who live on a budget.

How about, instead of trying to stop Wal-Mart- why don't we work to make sure they pay their employees decent wages? Why not work towards better benefits for Wal-Mart employees? Why not work to make Iowa City's Wal-Mart the most environmentally friendly Wal-Mart in the country- and to make the products they sell environmental sound and socially responsible- like Fair Trade Coffee. That's a movement I can get behind- and would work for without hesitation.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Wow.

Wow. Just go read this. There's literally no other way for me to describe it. Go, read, sit back and ponder.

Is Russia gunning for Saakashvili?

...so speculated Brian Williams and NBC News just a couple of minutes ago. Speculation is mounting- especially given the Russian rejection of the Georgian call for a cease-fire that Putin is looking to oust Saakashvili entirely, which would take this conflict to a whole other level entirely.

Russian air strikes are continuing to expand into Georgia proper- a naval blockade of the Georgian Black Sea Coast has gone up and, to top it all off, Abkhazian separatists are attacking Georgian forces in the Kodori Gorge, the only area of Abkhazia under Georgian control.

Where is this going to end? No where good, I'm afraid- if the speculation is right- and it's looking increasingly likely, then Russia is moving towards outright regime change in Georgia and what happens then is anyone's guess.

Isaac Hayes Has Died

Isaac Hayes died today at the age of 65. The longtime singer and music icon was found unconscious near a treadmill in his home. I can't say I'm a huge music buff, but I don't think there are many people out there who haven't heard the 'Theme from Shaft' and have closed their eyes and imagined being a total bad-ass for just a second or two while it played. More recently of course, he was the voice of 'Chef' on South Park- and has his controversial exit after he split with the shows creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker over their lampooning with Scientology. Chef died- and now the voice of Chef has also died.

Round 10 on Wal-Mart

I have a love-hate relationship with Iowa City sometimes. It's a great community, with such a vibrant center for the arts, great schools, wonderful resources available to students of all levels thanks to the University of Iowa. But occasionally, it falls down on its face with idiocy like: this.

The Iowa City Council is still debating on whether or not to allow an expanded Wal-Mart to be built on the south side of town. They've been going round and round on this issue for what seems like years now and no one has managed to kick in some common sense and tell the City Council to let Wal-Mart build the damn store. Why? Well, Gary Sanders is why... I've never met Gary Sanders and I'm not sure I'd want too, but I do remember than in high school, when our newspaper (The Little Hawk) did a humor page with an Amish theme (not sophisticated humor, mind you- but we were in high school) we got a blistering letter of complaint from none other than Gary Sanders- (and I'm 99% sure this is the same exact guy) who apparently has a lot of time on his hands if he's going to take the time to read a high school newspaper and compose a strongly worded letter to us.

But Wal-Mart... I don't get it. This is where the cloying, nauseating liberalism of Iowa City runs counter-productive towards the good of the community. The Left hates Wal-Mart- it's the epitomy of all that is evil and wrong in the world, therefore it should not be built here, in our utopian, Liberal community of Iowa City. That's the unspoken thesis- the spoken thesis is that Wal-Mart destroys 'main street' America and would damage business downtown.

What a load of bullshit. Sure, Wal-Mart may have an economic impact on Main Street America in general- and it may put some businesses out of business. But not in Iowa City's case. Iowa City screwed its own downtown long ago- we lost the mall to Coralville, which killed downtown. We didn't bother to make a play for a Convention Center (because what with the University holding so many conferences, that wouldn't have been useful at all.) and we chased out sensible businesses like Hardees, Burger King and Pizza Hut and replaced them with... bars.

The developmental problems facing downtown Iowa City have nothing to do with Wal-Mart and everything to do with some of the stupidity we see from liberal activists (such as Sanders) and the City Council. Moen, Mondinaro and company are intent on a campaign of 'upscaling' Iowa City, putting in swank apartments and hotels like the Vetro, while very nice and perhaps a useful addition to the downtown- did we really need the Tait's Natural Foods or whatever it was? How was the useful? The downtown population isn't rich doctors- it's ordinary townies and students- people on a budget. A Hy-Vee downtown would be awesome. A burger joint downtown would make a killing. Some forethought and attempts to diversify business would also help.

In short: the problems facing downtown Iowa City are largely self-made. And an expanded Wal-Mart on the south side isn't going to do any more damage than the City's short sightedness has already done. Plus, given this liberal hatred of Wal-Mart- what, one has to wonder, happens to people without the money to shop at Target?

Don't get me wrong: I'm not a huge fan of Wal-Mart. I worked there for about ten minutes last summer and there's room to criticize them. But the fact of the matter is for all the criticism, quite often, they've got the cheapest deals in down. And I'm a poor grad student, so I vote with my pocketbook. (And I sleep fine at night. Principle is all wonderful, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter much if you're broke.) And in a University town, it'd be nice to see the City Council make a nod to students and people without money (and people with too much time on their hands) who try and stop Wal-Mart from providing cheap, quality goods to people that don't have a lot of money to throw around.

Plus, Wal-Mart, like all companies responds very well to the needs of its customers. Imagine my shock, when walking through the aisles of the corporate Death Star, I found Fair Trade Coffee.

That's a telling side that anti-Wal-Mart, anti-corporate activists might want to consider: if you shout loud enough, Wal-Mart might just listen.

Business as Usual

So I was hangin' out on Facebook (as people do) when I noticed that a former work colleague and friend of mine was, in fact, in Mauritania. So, I thought, given the recent military coup there this past week, I'd shoot him a message and see what's going in Mauritania. This is what he said:
Re: Coup

Hey Tom, basically nothing is happening and for the most part people just kind of shrug and don't mind. This same guy, Abdul Aziz was involved in the last coup a couple of years ago. So basically people either give shrug responses and say they didn't like the president anyway because he didn't fix all their problems yet... or they give a shrug response because this guy has done it before and there wasn't any violence. Travel to Nouakchott was restricted for a day or two, which was more annoying than anything, and then there were a bunch of poorly organized and rather obviously staged parades in every major city. People are sheep. Okay, I gotta run, let me know if you have any specific questions, I'd be happy to answer more thoroughly.
Oh, and I'm here with the Peace Corps :)
-John

So, I guess it's business as usual in Mauritania thus far...

Arch Collapse

The Wall Arch in Arches National Park in Utah has collapsed. It's the first major collapse in the park since 1991 and, according to the reports, it fell down due to natural causes- so no one pushed it or hit it with a hammer or anything.

I'll have to look through my collection, but I think I might have some pictures of what might be the Wall Arch buried somewhere. If I do, I'll scan a couple and throw 'em up.

South Ossetia Update

Georgia has called a ceasefire and is pressing for a truce, but Russia says clashes are continuing are apparently hitting targets in and around the capital Tblisi. There might be some goodwill over the next couple of days to calm things down- since Russia has an upper hand in this situation.

In a twist, the Ukraine has issued a statement saying it may bar Russian naval forces from returning to their base in the Crimea- a clear shot across the bows of Moscow and placing them firmly on the side of Georgia. Whether this situation goes any further is an open question and it just underlies the problems and trickiness of Ukrainian-Russian relations over the Crimea. (Russia has a lease on naval bases until 2017- the Ukraine wants them gone after that.)

Either way, I'm willing to bet there's a good chance both sides stop shooting by the end of the week, depending on what mood the Russians are in. Russia may decide they want to rub it in a little more, but one thing is certain: Abkhazia and South Ossetia may have just taken their first steps from de facto independence to de jure independence, though I doubt any western nation would recognize either nation. Russia may reabsorb both- which I think would also be met with hostility from the rest of the world (not to mention Eastern Europe and former Soviet Republics in general- if Russia takes back South Ossetia and Abkhazia they're going to be really, really nervous.) But whatever the outcome- right now Russia has the upperhand and has made it clear they will not tolerate any change to the previous status quo. Georgia is just going to have to grit their teeth and let the Abkhazians and the Ossetians do their own thing, I think.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Methinks He Doth Protest Too Much!

Daily Kos has a piece detailing McCain's lobbying ties to the Republic of Georgia, which, given his statement on the conflict in South Ossetia become slightly interesting to me. The Kos piece describes the statement- (in full, here) as 'confrontational' but reading it, I'm not seeing that too much. Granted, it seems fairly one sided in favor of the Georgians, but what is to be done?

Every other government out there (that I've seen) seems to be intent on taking a neutral stance calling on both sides to quit it and come talk about it. Neither side is listening of course, but let's look at the current timeline of events:

Georgia and South Ossetia had negotiated a ceasefire, but fighting broke out anyway- so who broke the ceasefire? If the idea is to get both sides to lay off, we gotta slap the people who broke the ceasefire in the first place (p.s. I think it was probably Georgia) but at the same time- doesn't Georgia have a right to use force against separatist rebels? Hmmm... there it gets hazy. Russia has had its fingers in Abkhazia and South Ossetia for years now- it keeps Georgia from fully consolidating its territory and democracy and keeps them weak and somewhat in the Russian orbit. But now Saakashvili wants to join NATO. That's a no-no. Now Saakashvili wants to bring the breakaway regions back under Tblisi's control and send the Russian's packing. That's a no-no too.

There's more at stake here than just the mere question of 'who started it?' Russia and Georgia are going to go all in on this one because there's too much at stake for both. After rollbacks in the Ukraine and Kyrgyzstan and with Russia feeling its oats, so to speak and increasingly confident neither government is going to want to back down. Both sides lose too much if they do. We need a solution which proves the benefits to negotiation to both sides. And one-sided statements in favor of Georgia just show the lack of awareness of what's at stake here. (It's also worth noting that if Republican War Policies hadn't tied us down, we might have more options than strongly worded letters of complaint. What say you to that, Senator McCain?)

We're faced with a tricky needle to thread. An open conflict between the two sides has probably been inevitable for years and now it's come. Neither side is going to want to back down, so we need carrots and sticks to prove the benefits to negotiation to both sides. What those carrots and sticks are is a total different bag of chips entirely.

But the UN won't be able to do squat with Russia holding a veto. The US is tied down militarily and has its hands full in Iraq and Afghanistan (and probably shouldn't be moving troops to the area anyway. Things are bad enough as it is.) So if there's to be military aid, it should come from the Europeans- and it should only come if Russia violates Georgian territory with the goal of overthrowing the Republic of Georgia and replacing it with a government more friendly to their interests. That'd be a major red line that we're nowhere near yet- but it's one to watch out for. But it's going to be tricky, but negotiation needs to be done before this goes from bad to worse in a big hurry.

As for McCain... well it doesn't speak well for his leadership abilities. Granted Obama following the Bush Administration's line of 'everyone quit it, dammit!' isn't very muscular and stick waving, but this isn't a situation that calls for that. McCain lacks nuance- but given that I've seen pieces on Kos that posit a huge oil conspiracy behind our concern over this, it doesn't surprise me that McCain is feeling bellicose. Defending Georgia is a must. Getting people to stop before that becomes necessary would be a plus- if McCain is guilty of anything, it's of being a Washington insider with too many lobbying friends and being maybe a half-step ahead of events. Bellicosity towards the Russians might have its place soon, but let's see if we can get them to lay off and talk first.

Olympics Live Blog: Day 1

7:00 PM, CST: This is something of an experiment- I don't know how well it's going to work, so if it sucks, I'm sorry and it's entirely possible that you'll never see this again for the rest of Olympics and beyond. But basically, it's Saturday night, I've exhausted my stock of Stargate: Atlantis episodes and the first round of live coverage from the Olympics is about to begin. I'm going to attempt to blog it and be entertaining to boot. Will any of you few, you happy few that read this care? That's totally up to you.

7:05 PM: People are still talking about an apparently knife attack on the relatives of the US Men's Volleyball Coach- one dead, one in critical condition- and the attacker committed suicide. Bob Costas is doing his meandering fluff from Tiananmen Square with Tai-Chi masters in the background... noting the uncertainty of getting permission to do live transmissions from Tiananmen Square- obviously a moot point since Bob is live.

7:07 PM: Ah, the inspiring story/sports montage about Michael Phelps. We get it. He wants to win more golds, be the best blah, blah, blah. One of my biggest complaints about US Olympic coverage is the amount of time they spend on fluff like this, but I suppose it's inevitable to a certain degree. And it's kind of interesting in small doses.

7:11 PM: Men's Gymnastics underway. The qualification for the team competition anyway- the buzz, per the NBC commentators is China, Japan and who knows who. The US Team lost the Hamm Brothers and Joey Cheek, I believe, so who knows what they can do- and Germany is hanging in the wings. This should be interesting, given China's apparent propensity at choking. I find gymnastics, like strippers, somewhat fascinating, because it's people doing things on various apparat-i that seem truly ridiculous and even a little dangerous.

7:26 PM: They're doing rings right now. I think rings are kind of boring personally. Rings and floor exercise for Men's Gymnastics are really boring. Floor exercise is a bit more fun for women's gymnastics because they wave ribbons and crap- but for men- come to think of it, do the men even do floor routines? I don't know. But rings are just slow and boring. Bring on the pommel horse, that's what I say! Running at a sprint towards something very hard- that's excitement.

7:33 PM: Done with rings- onto the high bar. It's kind of fun.

7:36 PM: Jonathan Morton of the US Team just did a pretty bad ass routine on the high bar. Double pump releases- whatever they are, they look cool and a triple twist dismount- and he's been followed by some one else who's making like a badass on the high bar. These guys are nuts. Justin Spring! That's the guy...

7:51 PM: Just had a horrific JC Penny Commercial assault my eyeballs that I think was meant to be an homage of some kind to The Breakfast Club, but instead totally missed the point of the movie- it's not about everyone wearing the same, 'I'm going to a fraternity' type clothing. It's about celebrating differences. Would that any were visible amongst the carefully coiffed teens.

7:56 PM: Inspirational fluff time- and maybe some actual live coverage, as the gymnastics were tape delayed so that Bob Costas could get from Tiananmen Square back to the booth. Inspirational fluff on Dara Torres, 41 year old Mom and 5 time Olympian who's back for another shot at Gold in Beijing. Ok- this fluff is kind of cool. There's a little more to the story than 'he works hard, is competitive and wants to win a buttload of medals.' This, I'll allow. In small doses.

7:59 PM:
So, since she's 41, people have been raising questions about Dara Torres and doping- but not only has she denied, she tested up the wazoo- and had her blood stored in case future tests are developed. Now that's a higher standard and a half.

8:04 PM:
Beach volleyball time. Misty May Tranor and Kerri Walsh begin their gold medal defense life. They're dominant and ass-kicking- 18 tournament wins, 101 wins in a row, they should clean up. But beach volleyball, someday I might get into it- and Lord knows it holds my attention better than actual volleyball, but like I said. I might get into it- but not today. Back soon.

8:52 PM:
China's Men are at it in the gymnastics and if any team is under pressure at these games, it's them. Much has been made of China's dominance in the world of gymnastics, but much has also been made of their infamy in choking when the chips are down, as they did in Athens, losing the gold to the Japanese team. So far, so good.

8:53 PM: Japan on the high bars- and it's just sort of mind blowing. I'm kind of jealous- wish I had upper body strength. And some of the stuff these guys do is just nuts- even if I had the upper body strength, I'm damn sure I'd probably hurt myself badly if I attempted any of this.

9:04 PM: Swimming. Phelps is up for the 400m IM. I think it was Sydney that really turned me on to swimming- I'd never really given it much of a thought before that, but now it's turned into one of the banner events of the Olympics. Henry Kissinger, the President and a huge-ass amount of cameras are gonna watch Phelps and Lochte do their respective things.

Phelps is favorite- anticipated to duel with Ryan Lochte, the other American. A Hungarian, Italian, Canadian all in the mix. Laszlo Czeh, the other Hungarian in the mix won the Bronze in Athens. Another Italian and... a Brazilian. We're set.

And we're off- Cseh is ahead on the first touch, but Phelps is in the mix still. Phelps pulling ahead now.

Backstroke now- Lochte is pulling up and the field is separating. LOCHTE with the lead on the third touch- under world record time. Cseh and Phelps still with him.

Breaststroke now- Phelps ahead again- though Phelps, if he has a weakness, it's probably the breaststrike. Damn. 1.19 off world record time. Phelps is going, going, going... Lochte and Phelps dueling.

Freestyle and Phelps rocketing away. 1.40 off world record time. Lochte and Cseh battling for 2nd and 3rd. Damn, damn, damn! 1.94 off world record time. This is NUTS.

GOLD MEDAL PHELPS! And a world record to boot, shattering his old world record by almost two seconds. Cseh and Lochte were 2nd and 3rd respectively. Phelps is off to an amazing start.

9:17 PM: 100 M Fly Women's Prelims... British swimmer in Lane 1, Lowe. Trickett from Australia is looking strong and a couple of Americans in the mix.

9:22 PM: Second semi for the 100 M Fly final for the Women. The hometown crowd is making some noise for Zhou Yafei, the Chinese representative in this semi. The Aussies are representing with Jessica Schipper. Denmark, Brazil, Russia, a few others in the mix.

Zhou ahead at the first turn, but Schipper is pushing hard. Schipper, Zhou, Dekker of the Netherlands go 1,2,3.

9:27 PM: Men's 400M Free Final. Tunisia, Australia, South Korea, USA, China, Russia, USA and Russia in the mix. Tunisia, Grant Hackett of the Aussies, Park Tae-Hwan of Korea and Jensen of the USA all ones to watch.

Hackett ahead on the first touch. And the second touch. Well away from the world record- which might be Ian Thorpe's forever, really, since it's been out of reach so far. Pretty wide open at this point.

Park of Korea ahead on the third touch. And the fourth. This race is wide open still though- no one's really made a break for it yet, but Park, Hackett and the Americans all still in it.

Park is pulling away, Hackett in second. The Americans have to make a move now if they want a medal, but they're still in it.

Park still ahead. Jensen coming up fast...

GOLD MEDAL PARK! ZHANG TAKES SECOND! JENSEN BRONZE! Wow, that was a close race- China has never won a medal in men's swimming. Park got the first medal for swimming for Korea and it was gold. Jensen snuck in for bronze. Kind of incredible because Park Tae-Hwan actually was DQ'd at Athens for falling into the water- he was 14 at the time and he came back to win a gold 4 years later. How's that for redemption?

9:49 PM: Women's 400M IM final... Katie Hoff of the USA the one to watch, but Kirsty Coventry of Zimbabwe is in the mix, always dangerous. A Russian, an Italian, Elizabeth Beisel of the USA, a young gun for the US Swim Team- first time Olympian. Stephanie Rice of Australia another big name to watch- and Li Xuanxu of China in Lane 7, more love for the hometown crowd. And a Brit! Hannah Miley of the UK in the last lane.

And they're off. Rice of Australia out ahead after the first touch- Kristy Coventry and Hoff in the mix after the second touch.

Coventry and Rice coming up together, pulling away from Hoff, Beisel and company. Coventry ahead now- 3 seconds under world record time! But Rice and Coventry dueling hard but with Hoff moving hard and still on world record pace.

Stephanie Rice and Coventry are both ahead of World Record pace and Hoff is in 3rd. Coventry is rockin' hard. But it's tightening up.

RICE WINS GOLD! COVENTRY SILVER! HOFF BRONZE! The World Record was just obliterated by both Coventry and Rice- Rice taking it down by a 1.5 second at least. A gold for the Aussie and Kristy Coventry of Zimbabwe snuck in for the silver- down in lane 1 no one even noticed her, really and she was crazy hardcore. Stephanie Rice was just the first to break 4.30 in the 400 IM.

10:26 PM:
More gymnastics- China is looking hardcore- and some Chinese guy who just went on vault did this crazy difficult jump that he invented himself. Consider that for a just a minute- vault is the one where you run at high speed at a hard object and flip over it. This guy saw what all the other guys were doing and decided to make something up. I don't even know how you would go about doing that. Trial and error? Wouldn't that hurt, potentially? Incredible stuff though. China is looking good.

10:31 PM: Dara Torres and the 4x100 Free relay. Torres will be anchoring the relay... China, France, Canada, the US- China is a surprise for the hometown crowd. Germany, the Netherlands- the current world record holders, the Aussies and the British!

This race is apparently a bit of a muddle per the commentators, I guess the prelims were kind of messy. China is a surprise- but I think the Americans and the Aussie should be in the mix. But you can't count out the Germans or the Dutch- and they have the lead at the second leg.

Germany and the Netherlands are dueling now in the third leg. The Americans are close though- no clue where the Aussies are, but it looks pretty open still.

Final LEG! Torres is close but the Dutch have the lead and Torres is closing! Here come the Aussies though!

Netherlands, USA, Australia! But a new American record for Dara Torres and went 52.4 in the last split at 41 years old.

10:42 PM: I think they're going back to gymnastics and inspirational fluff for the last twenty minutes, so I think I'm going to sign off and end the great experiment on its first day. Looking at the full extent of this, my first serious attempt to live blog anything, I've decided I must be slightly cracked or have way too much time on my hands. Given that Ali is home for the weekend, that's probably not too far off the truth, but seriously. I don't know how people can do this and somehow be entertaining, because I felt like I meandered on too long and just wasn't entertaining. I suppose if someone tells me that it rocked their world I might attempt another shot at it- but while the experiment was fun, it's time to bring it to an end and admit defeat. So, signing off. Good night.

Save Art Now: More Reasons Regents Are Dumb

From Art Matters, the UIMA's blog comesthe interesting little tidbit that the UIMA would in fact, lose it's national accreditation if the Pollack is sold to cover flood damages. The Regents should drop this entire idea, drop the study, drop everything about this stupidity- if genuine concern over the future of the program itself isn't enough, then this should do it. I mean, really, if this doesn't get the idea dropped, then I don't know what will.

The program needs to be protected, but imagine the damage to the University of Iowa if one of its key museums loses national accreditation. How will that make the state look? How will that make the University look? More importantly- how dumb will that make the Regents look?

I know it's tough- and I know the state and the University are up against the proverbial wall with this, but we need to resist the national urge for short term solutions to long term problems. No one ever stops to think about what's going to happen ten, 20 years down the road in situations like this- everyone is just about fixing the problem as quickly as possible, regardless of the consequences. Someone on the Regents or in the Governor's office needs to speak up for long term solutions. Such thinking requires real and actual leadership at all levels- from the University on up to legislators in Des Moines and Washington. We need to work together and rebuild to make the University better and brighter not just for tomorrow, but for students in Iowa and across the country in the future.

So, practically, what can we do? If the Museum cannot stay in its current location, then planning should begin on moving it downtown. I believe the Daily Iowan has already run an op-ed on this, but a new Museum, in the heart of Iowa City could be a revitalizing force for the entire community in the wake of the flooding. Perhaps instead of snatching Federal money for a fake indoor rainforest in Coralville, we could get something going on that. In a community such as Iowa City, where the arts have such a prominent place, the community should have access to a beautiful museum where some of the best art in the country can be on display. I know the counter-argument to this is that it would be detrimental to the underlying academic mission of the Art Museum to move it away from the Arts Campus as a whole, but a downtown location would hardly be beyond the reach of students- and a downtown location, done right could make it more accessible to the community as a whole.

This leaves the question of the Arts Campus: it will take money and an incredible amount of effort to rehabilitate the buildings on the Arts Campus- and some might suggest moving the campus entirely. But where too? With ten minutes between classes, moving the Arts Campus out of downtown is not a tenable solution. How are students supposed to traverse the wider distances? Such a move, however, could provide protection from further flooding- even though a move would, I think, shatter the cohesive place of the University in the heart of Iowa City.

Could we build flood defenses? That's an open question. What about a flood wall? Normally such things are ugly and blah looking, scars on the green space beside any given river, but it's an Arts Campus- full of Art Students. If mobilized, the creative forces of the Arts Campus I'm sure could come up with a concept that would enhance the area instead of detract from it. Unfortunately, a flood wall would be hampered by the steam tunnels the UI has running under the River. Water would, in a future flood, probably seep up through those tunnels that could undermine a future flood wall/flood defense.

But in the end: it's a college campus. You have a source of unpaid (or at least cheap) labor. Engineers rub shoulders with geographers and artists. Harness the creative powers of the campus to build defenses against future floods.

And if the Museum does move downtown, then the Dance Department could take their current building (since I think they want to anyway).

But let's push the power of creative thinking.

Tough to Prove?

In the wake of John Edwards' acknowledgment of an extra-marital affair yesterday, the AP has run a piece explaining just 'how tough to prove' the story was and how people shouldn't beat up the media for it's total lack of anything resembling reportage on the issue.

The entire piece is a sniveling string of excuses that doesn't help anything. Blogs and the National Enquirer have been investigating this since last fall and in the end, it paid off- the mainstream media on the other hand completely looked the other way. They looked the other way when Edwards was running for President, they looked the other way afterwards. When a potential Democratic nominee was busy lying his ass off about an affair that could have been fatal to the party's chances in the fall, the media was nowhere to be found.

This crap about the National Enquirer 'not being credible' is the closest thing to an excuse I've seen, but even the NE gets a live one now and again. The media shouldn't ignore them 100% of the time. What it's symptomatic of is a media that is woefully negligent when it comes to holding politicians to account. The media's lack of spine helped drag us into the Iraq War and now we see them protecting what, despite the nastiness of it, is a credible story.

I'm not advocating a mass invasion of the Edwards family's privacy at this time- things have got to be difficult enough for them already- but at the end of the day a Presidential Candidate lied about an affair. And whether you think it should be none of our business or not, the fact that he was running for the highest office in the land, having an affair and lying about it is something we have the right to ask some very pointed questions about.

Bernie Mac Dies

This is sudden and kind of shocking: Bernie Mac has died at age 50 from complications from pneumonia. He suffered from sarcoidis apparently, which is a condition that produces tiny lumps of cells throughout the body- but went into remission in 2005.

I can't say I was a huge fan of the Bernie Mac Show, but he was certainly entertaining in the movies I saw him in.

Widening War

Russia has carried out airstrikes on the Georgian town of Gori as the conflict over South Ossetia tips ever closer to all out war. There's no sign of either side backing down and mixed reports of what's actually going on in South Ossetia. The Russians claim that they have retaken Tskhinvali, the Ossetian capital, but the Georgians claim that they are still in control.

Georgian President Saakashvili has declared a state of war and withdrawn Georgia's entire 2,000 troop contingent from Iraq to bring them back home to help with the crisis- and, more disturbingly, Abkhazian forces have launched artillery attacks on Georgian forces.

This is going to be a tough needle to thread at the end of the day. Russia can't risk an attempt at reabsorbing the entire country, but Russia can keep Georgia weak by ensuring the de-facto independence of Abkhazia and South Ossetia, if not absorbing both regions themselves. Yet Georgia has to go all in on this situation as well, because they cannot afford to see their territorial integrity compromised. I mean, what country wouldn't want to regain control of separatist regions- I just think more creative solutions should be considered to ensure the autonomy of both regions and Tblisi's control. It'd be a delicate line to walk, but not impossible if leaders from both sides are willing.

Problem is: I doubt anyone's going to be willing to talk anytime soon.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Serendipity Personified

A baby was born in Fergus Falls today. That in and of itself probably isn't all that unusual, but consider this:

She was born on 8/8/08
at 8:08
and weighed 8 pounds, 8 ounces.

No joke.

0-1

So preseason games don't mean squat, but this has to be a mixed result for the Vikings, with a 34-17 loss to Seattle at the Metrodome, but with one more week of camp, there's good news, bad news and some time to work out the kinks before the second preseason game next week. Childress decided to let Jackson show what he's got and he went 8-11 with no interceptions, which is a good sign, but the defense looked pretty sloppy which is something that they're going to want to deal with.

But you gotta use the preseason for something. So why not work out the kinks and see what you get next weekend.

China Has Arrived

Wow. That's really and truly the only word I have for the past four hours- just wow. I mean, I know it was already said and done- and it was just a tape delay, but the Opening Ceremonies for the 2008 Beijing Games were without a doubt on a whole other level entirely.

Zhang Yimou deserves an Oscar just for planning this and I shudder to think how much the whole thing cost and the sheer amount of human effort that was put into the artistry and the timing of the entire show. And everything went perfectly. That was the incredible thing about it all- it seemed entirely flawless. From the opening drum sequence with 2,008 drummers to the incredibly technologically innovative display of China's history that followed. I think Bob Costas said that the LED screen on the floor of the Bird's Nest (as they call the Olympic Stadium) was something like 73 feet tall and an insane 230 feet long. There are things that baffled me (a display of Olympic rings projected onto the floor of the stadium somehow lifted off the floor of the stadium into the air. Damned if I don't have a clue how they did that.) A scroll of calligraphy gave way to immense ancient Chinese printing blocks that moved into patterns with such precision that everyone would have sworn that they were powered by something under the stadium. But, in a final surprise- it turns out people were powering the whole set-up and it was staged to perfection.

The greater significance of all this was the political and historical moment you were witnessing right there on the television screen in front of you. Without a doubt, China has, once and for all stepped out onto the international stage. Tonight excised the scars of Mao and pushed China even past the foresight of Deng and was an incredible break with the past. China has been expanding its economy at an hellish pace and stepping into future with a truly generational event for their country that can, as the Olympics often do, mark a sea change for China and certainly a massive shift in perceptions about China across the world. For all the controversy surrounding the games about China's political record and their human rights record, you can imagine that the people and everyone would only stop and think. The controversy only feeds the Olympic fervor, good and bad. At the end of the day, I think if the Opening Ceremonies are any indication, these games could be the most talked about, most successful games we see for quite sometime.

And, just when you thought there could be no more spectacle, beyond the awesome pyrotechnics and incredible gigantic pyrotechnic footprints that 'walked' their way from the Forbidden City out to the Stadium- they had to light the torch. 8 runners ran inside the stadium and then the last runner was elevated into the air and rose up to the outer rim of the stadium. He ran around the outside and then lit the torch. Which, not unlike peeling away a label, peeled away from the upper lip of the Stadium and rolled up to form the torch. According the commentators, it hadn't been there thirty minutes before.

In a word: incredible. Let's see if the competition can match up.

Save Art Now!

The Iowa Board of Regents is apparently serious about valuing the famous work by Jackson Pollack, Mural to see if it worth considering selling it to cover flood damage. The painting is estimated to be worth anywhere between $100-150 million and it the absolute centerpiece of the University of Iowa's Art collection.

In the wake of the devastating flooding across much of Eastern Iowa this summer, no one place on the University of Iowa was more hard hit than the art campus. Situated along the River, the Art, Music and Theater programs were tucked away on a scenic, idyllic area along the banks of the Iowa River. No one could have anticipated the monumental flooding and damage that would follow this summer. Given the extent of the damage, it is in one sense, not surprising to see the Regents considering selling the crown jewel, Mural to cover flood damage. On the face of it, given what they're up against, you could almost see a degree of understanding as to what Michael Gartner is pushing.

But the long term future of the Arts Campus has to be considered. The print school at the University of Iowa is one of the best in the nation. Virginia Meyers, whom I have had the great privilege of meeting invented the medium of foil printing and the University helped to develop new technology to advance the medium- they still hold the patents. Mauricio Lasansky, famed artist responsible for the dark Nazi Drawings helped break print out of smaller dimensions by championing and helping to develop intaglio or large scale printing. The print school alone demands some greater degree of forethought from the Iowa Board of Regents, but as usual, bureaucrats tend to look for quick fixes to long term problems.

It seems, as anyone familiar with the University of Iowa can attest too, that the Regents hold allegiance to one thing: money. The Hospital and the Football Program suck everything up. Regents pony up cash after cash to keep the Hospital expanding to ridiculous sizes and to polish up Kinnick Stadium until it shines. The extent of their splurging is such that there is a very real possibility that some day, Kinnick Stadium could be the only football stadium in the country hemmed in on three sides by a Hospital. But who can blame the Regents? The sad state of higher education leaves administrators with harsh choices- they have to follow the money and athletics takes precedent over academics too many times.

But this is one time where the trend has to be broken. Enough is enough. Art may not bring in gobs of money to the University, but the Art School is one of the quietly overlooked gems of the University of Iowa. It deserves to be protected and rebuilt better than ever- and having been gutted and devastated already, it is beyond unfair for the Regents to even consider excising the heart of the University's art collection for the cheap reward of mere money. Like athletics and the hospital, art relies on quality institutions and collections to attract the best talent it can from around the country. The Pollack, therefore is integral to its future success and long term prospects of the Arts Campus as a whole. It would beggar belief to see the Regents considering a sale of say, Kinnick Stadium to pay for flood recovery- though given the dismal performance both on and off the field of the Iowa Football team, perhaps they should consider it- but such a move would be shouted down with vigor. The Pollack, although it may seem like no more than a few swirls of paint to many people, is the Kinnick Stadium of the Arts Program.

Given the disruption to the art program, it's entirely probably that many thesis and undergraduate students might be forced to transfer or drop out entirely. Retaining and drawing back these students demands the continuation of quality professors, quality facilities and a collection unparalleled in the Big Ten.

The Regents may only be guilty of the crime of wanting to consider all the options, even the foolish ones- but their allegiance has to be to more than quick fixes and money. They have an obligation to protect both the bottom line and ensure the quality programs and academics at all levels and area continue to excel at the University of Iowa and other state institutions in Iowa. And by pushing the notion of selling the Pollack, they are demonstrating that their interests and abilities are sadly deficient to the massive challenge facing the state of Iowa and the University community in the months and years ahead.

**For those of you on Facebook, join the fight to save art now!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=42568272192&ref=nf

Ossetia Explosion

The situation in South Ossetia has gone from bad to worse in a big hurry and the UN Security Council is trying to get a ceasefire in place without much luck. The problem of course, being that Russia has a veto and I have a feeling they're gonna swing it like a big-ass club in this situation.

Thankfully, our government has been issuing statements of support and demands for Russia to withdraw troops from Georgian territory as soon as possible. But it looks like both sides are digging in for the long haul.
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev said he had to act to defend South Ossetia's civilians, most of whom have been given Russian citizenship.

He also voiced anger over the reported fatalities of Russian servicemen in the breakaway province.

"We will not allow their deaths to go unpunished," he said. "Those responsible will receive a deserved punishment."

Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said Moscow had received reports that villages in South Ossetia were being ethnically cleansed.

There's also reports that Russian air strikes are being conducted in Georgia itself which only increases the chances that the conflict will intensify, I think. If things would stay locked down in South Ossetia, common sense and the international community might be able to settle things down. But Russia sounds bellicose and Georgia doesn't sound much better:
Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili said Russia was at war with his country.

He told the BBC: "Our troops are attacked by thousands of troops coming in from Russia."

Mr Saakashvili said Georgia had shot down several Russian planes and accused Moscow of bombing Georgian air bases and towns, resulting in the death of 30 military personnel and civilians.

No word on whether or not any attempts to calm things down are getting anywhere as of yet. I'm willing to bet the UN won't get anywhere as Russia has veto power on the Security Council and China still is pretty dodgey about poking its nose in what it would probably perceive as an internal Russian thing.

Bit of an Olympic connection though: President Bush and Prime Minister Putin have apparently (per Bob Costas and via tape delay) discussed the situation in Beijing. And NBC had a shot of Bush and Putin talking intensely about something. I'm willing to bet it wasn't the weather.

Cricket?

So, I was standing guard today at the intersection of Stadium and Ellis, fiercely being the gatekeeper to the Gage Compound and watching as various Vikings drove their cars away for the weekend back to the Cities for the game tonight, when an MNSU higher-up (possibly the Director of Campus Recreation) happened by with some random guy and mentioned that they were going back to look at the softball field.

"I want to show him the surface," he said. "We're thinking we're going to put in a cricket pitch back there."

I instantly slapped on my best poker face and made a non-committal response of 'ok' before they went on their way. This, despite the fact that the word 'a cricket pitch?' were echoing in my head with levels of incredulity that would have done Lady Bracknell proud.

A cricket pitch. Seriously? I sometimes wonder about MNSU, I really do. My lovely fianceƩ Allison got a degree in Interior Design from MNSU- and if you're looking to do the same, don't break a sweat trying to find it on their website. They cut the program. For some reason it ended up in the Construction Management Department (the theory probably being that if students were going to learn how to build the outside of a house, they should probably have the option of work on the inside too) and over the course of Allison's tenure with the program, it went from something like 50 to close to 200 students.

Now if that's not a barometer for a successful academic program, please tell me what is. Yet despite that and because of it's unfortunate placement with Construction Management, the school, in its wisdom, decided to cut the program. Then they, to follow up, tried to con the students into approving a $14 million renovation of the recreation fields.

Because, apparently, there's a high demand for cricket here in Mankato. Don't get me wrong: I'm fully aware we have an active South Asian student body on campus, but I don't for the life of me see why money needs to be spent on creating a specific pitch solely for cricket. Give me a wicket, a stump, a mallet and a tape measure along with a fairly decent sized, open green area and I can create a cricket pitch in about five minutes flat. If that. (And anyone who plays it on a regular basis will agree with me on this one- you probably don't even need the tape measure.) So why does it need it's own damn field? WHY?

It's an unbelievable waste of money and if this turns out to be true, it'll annoy me even more. Cricket and Americans just don't mix. In much the same way as the rest of the world (and more than a few Americans) find baseball to be long, boring and incomprehensible- Americans find cricket to be exactly the same way, though longer and if it's possible, more boring. I give kudos to the local gym classes down at the high school for attempting to try it, (along with the cheerfully sadistic snowshoe softball in the dead of winter) but I've watched them: they hold the bat like it's baseball with 2 bases instead of 4.

Americans just don't get it- and who can blame them? Keep in mind that I say this as a distant ancestor of the first man to score a century in cricket (really it's true. And I'm pretty sure that means 100 runs.)- but just keep your money. Really. Spend it on something like academics. There's a concept.

It's one of my life goals to sit through a test match, understand what's going on and enjoy it a little bit. So far, I'm nowhere to close to fulfilling it.