Has professional wrestling always been this fucked up or did I miss something somewhere? A random channel change before I went back to my thesis lead me to a weird, soap-opera-like plotline between Chris Jericho and Shaun Michaels involving eye injuries, revenge and Jericho sucker-punching Michaels' wife, who was inexplicably in the ring with her husband while he flung testosterone around the place.
When did this happen? Did I miss something? And why does Chris Jericho have no body hair and seemingly no clothes whatsoever on underneath that tacky oversized belt? Let me summate: DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF, MAN! What happened to professional wrestling?
There was a time, back in my youth, when professional wrestling was cool. Like really, honest-to-God cool- and if you had WWF Action Figures it could mean some serious playground credibility. But somewhere along the way, it lost me. It seemed that back then, character mattered. Every character had their own moves, their own style- and their own rivalries and costumes and every kid had their favorite wrestler. Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan, The Undertaker, British Bulldog, Brett Hart- they were all awesome! (And yes, pretty much everyone saw 'Thunder In Paradise.' Awesome movie that it was!)
Somewhere along the way, I have apparently lost the plot. Someone apparently decided to hire some writers off 'As The World Turns' and turn this into slapstick, ham comedy. And it's just not as entertaining. It's not as colorful. Now, it's just a hairless man in a skin-tight diaper which, I have a sinking feeling says 'BONE ME' on his ass. And now they're jumping all over the place, out of the ring, looking totally ridiculous.
This blows. It was always fake, but never this transparently, theatrically fake.
Somewhere, British Bulldog is crying.
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